… and love is something i can’t control

for me to just stand here
and do nothing with this pain
no one will notice no one will hear
i just wish it would rain.

the beautiful blue moon, 

i don’t know what it means, 

it could be a curse or a cure to desolation.

i realized this is what i should have done a long time ago, press the pause button.

…never say the words ‘i love you’ with just a feeling in your skin. you have to know it with your heart as unchangeable truth and are willing to fight for it and die fighting.

butterflies that flutter by
give meaning to an empty sky.
let the breeze among the trees
draw their wings in days like this.


an open hand i offered you

and graciously you closely flew
in grand display your colors shone
i held you dearly as my own.


the sunlight’s touch was such a sight

but soon would be the fall of night
my butterfly soon went away
into my garden there to stay.

the beauty of a rose 

would last forever
in the memory of those
who will remember.

when the skies fade to black

and the shadows be your walls
be it known in your heart
that the stars up above
shine for you.

as i lift up my eyes to behold the skies
i began to realize how empty it could be
were it not for the stars that shone down on me.

i feel… so expired.

i need want… to… be… aaaarrrgh…

inspired.

i am frustrated for the very reason i don't know why i am. maybe because i dont look forward to anything at the moment. yes. if ever there were it would be the moment of meeting her. whoever she is.

if you only knew who i am ten years from now
maybe i would be treated differently.

i am mastering isolation, when i am no longer moved by reason but by faith and the hands of fate. and to understand nothing is in my power.

you are beautiful. you simply got me captivated. but my hands are tied, my lips are sealed and my eyes closed. yet you can see through me. or so i felt. all i could do is wait for this moment to end.

it’s not that i embraced solitude; but that solitude embraced me. not that loneliness understood me; but that i understood loneliness. i was alone but never lonely. almost.